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Monday, 21 November 2016

The Yes Men

Yes men are usually described as weak person who agrees with their superiors or a sycophant. In this post I'm talking about the other type of Yes men (and yes, I'm making up my own definitions but what's your point?). 

As you get older, people become reluctant to commit to anything, or worse, they never actually want to do anything fun for some reason. Everything because a drawn out process. One of the best text messages I ever received was from a friend of my partner, when I decided we'd go out with his friends to see a show. I don't know him very well but he replied to the invite instantaneously with "That's sounds great. We'd love to come but I'll just have to check with my wife and make sure we're free" (obviously he just said his wife's name...I'm editing for privacy). I was struck with the enthusiasm and said to my partner 'That's what we need, more enthusiastic friends like that! People that just say Yes!')

We need to surround ourselves with people who get excited about things, because it is contagious. We recently went on a boat and my friends all oooh'd and aah'd because it was truly AMAZING and something we rarely do. When the waiters turned up with the food. the boat almost tipped over as we all ran to take photos! We all felt so lucky to be there, and lucky to live in such a beautiful city, and kept telling each other how sensational it all was. In the past we have done similar boat outings with others who didn't seem to notice all the magnificence on offer. Maybe they go on boats more often, maybe they had other things going on and couldn't rise above it but the difference in the vibe was palpable. I don't ever want to become the person that stops seeing the good things in life as something special.

However, as you get older, that's exactly what you do. The major flaw in humans is we become jaded and tired and mundane life overwhelms us. I too am guilty of this. I was booking tickets for the Festival and noticed that one of the shows I was booking started at midnight. I thought to myself I'd skip it as we'd be too tired. My 70 year old friend coming with me replied "It will be fun. We did one this year and it was great. We'll just go to dinner first" as if I was insane for even questioning it. I had that moment of self realisation when I discovered I was slowly slipping into that apathetic mire. Fortunately, nothing shames you as much as being fossilized, so I booked the tickets and am now quite excited about it. I am also extremely grateful to have such cool and fun loving friends, regardless of age!

Gordon Parks noted 'Enthusiasm is the electricity of life' and I think this is the perfect description. It lights up the room, it fills you with hope, joy and excitement. It's the sparkle in your eyes and the swing in your gait (to borrow from Henry Ford). And as I said, it's catching. Watch the way children think everything is great. So great, excellent, perfect. Their terminology is in extremes. As teens it falls into pretty good, okay, alright; and for some reason we never really recover from that.

Look at your interactions, look at yourself, and start making the minor changes. Most importantly, be a yes man and start the change. 



26 comments:

  1. Go the 70 year old!! Yes, I have to really push myself some times to say yes to things. I'm not keen on going to the Xmas party at my new work, but I'm forcing myself. Argh. #teamIBOT

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  2. The more tired I get, the harder I work but the less socialising I feel like doing - argh and its Christmas

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  3. Yep!! Enthusiasm. Check. Happiness. Check. YES! Check. Wanna meet me for coffee today :) (Please reply with enthusiasm).

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    1. Absolutely! I just read about a fab new place we MUST try out! It will be totally ACE! ;)

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  4. It's something that annoys me too. I've tried to organise get together's before and no one will commit! I wish we lived in a world where everyone felt comfortable saying either yes, or no, up front and without judgment.

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    1. I don't mind the NO's but don't make me chase you for them! I've just sent out party invites for xmas and I know there's a good 30 -40 people I'll have to chase after the rsvp date. WHY????

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  5. I love this! I think it's my inability to grow up that makes me want to say yes to all things, that and the fear of FOMO! I also think my cancer diagnoses have definitely left me with a huge appetite and enthusiasm for life. Surrounding yourself with people who are life lovers too makes a huge difference. Here's to saying yes!

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    1. I have FOMO - but the good kind. I wrote a thing on it way back in the beginning...might link it up this archive love Friday....

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  6. I'm jaded. I often say no. I know it's bad but I feel so limited most of the time, by circumstances and finances, and it's a hard rut to drag yourself out off!

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  7. I'm not great at 'living in the now' and appreciating what I have. But I need to do more 'gratitude' type exercises and train myself to be. I did check with my psychologist that those things work and she reassured me that it is possible to improve!

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  8. I've been doing this more and more, last week I spoke in front of 120 of my peers even though I was terrified. But you know what, it was awesome! All from saying yes!

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  9. This is too true, and I hate to say I am living with a man who most definitely NOT a yes man and it drives me nuts sometimes. I can't blame him (much) he does work really hard, and so when he has time off I can totally understand his wanting to just stay at home and relax and work in the garden, but sometimes it would be nice to suggest something and have the idea greeted with enthusiasm. On the other hand, I can sometimes take this to the extreme, saying yes to anything and everything with great enthusiasm and then sometimes being left thinking (What have I done?!".

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    1. Ah, yes, That's for the other post - when great ideas go wrong. I often get all caught up in the enthusiasm of the idea and fail to think it all through...but you need a few things to go pear shape to keep you on your toes!

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  10. It bothers me when if is filled with "we really should do {insert activity} sometime" instead of saying "hey, let's do that next weekend!" Yay for enthusiasm.

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  11. I need to find more yes time in my life for me. I'm definitely guilty of being that person who is old before their time. Yes to enthusiasm and fun!

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  12. Oh man... I really am stuck in this rut! I need to say yes more, I always have an excuse... Thansk for the perspective! xx #stayclassymama

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  13. It is so rare that I have the opportunity to leave the house in the evenings now that I jump at any chance I get! Before we had the kids, I could go out as much as I liked, but I never felt so inclined as I do now. I am a sort of Yes person, but mainly only in theory, unfortunately!
    x Alice
    #kcacols

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  14. I need to find more yes time. I tend to put way too many things off for some other time.#KCACOLS

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  15. I absolutely LOVE this. You are my sort of people. Since I've had my children and all my friends have either moved far away or have children of their own, it's increasingly difficult to find people who are up for an adventure/crazy night out etc. And I usually am. I am a parent, not dead! What part of the world are you in? I will say yes to hanging out! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday.

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    1. I am in Sydney, but I will be in London next April...stay tuned!

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  16. Great post! "Yes" is my word of the season!
    Ingrid
    http://www.fabulousandfunlife.blogspot.com.au

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  17. I need to say 'yes' more and worry about the other stuff after! I tend to overthink too much and talk myself out of things, which is near impossible when I am dragged along anyway!
    Not all the time though, I like fun as much as the next person!

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  18. Ah perfect story. We only live once and should get out to enjoy life. I'm so guilty of wanting to stay in or vote for the easy option. I need to have some more "yes" in my life. Thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

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  19. My favourite show at the Edinburgh fringe start at 12:30am and I try to go every year. It may be the only time of the year that I'm not tucked up in bed at 10pm - but at least it's something! #kcacols

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  20. Love this post, this is my favourite post from you! I totally agree we need to bring our inner child out more, there was this art sculpture at burning man that I saw on Instagram (really want to go to Burning Man!) that showed two adults, a man and a woman, sitting back to back and inside of the woman was a child putting his hands up to the other child that was inside of the man. I'm not doing it justice but it basically was saying how adults need to lighten up! Thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama!

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