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Sunday, 14 September 2014

First of the Month Fiction - October

I am going massively early, even for a Timelord like myself, but as I'm away, and shutting down for the school holidays, this can sit here until my return in October.

Have a great holiday, everyone!

For examples link here - otherwise put your short story in exactly 100 words or less than 30 in the comments, and link your blog in the linky. (and if I don't comment, it's not because I don't love your story, it's because I haven't looked at it yet, as I will be computerless for awhile).

Mine is the 100 words:

It had happened in a split second. He'd stormed out of the house, seeking revenge. He set the match and in an instant, it was the point of no return. Quickly the orange flames crackled and grew. The noise of the fire was strangely hypnotic, and instead of fleeing the scene as planned, he stood transfixed. The fire grew in size and ferocity, and the noise of things crashing and smashing as floors and walls collapsed rang in his ears. As he watched the flames tear through the building, he didn't know his beloved little sister was still asleep inside.

Off to see the world, see you on my return in October!

Freestyling with the Lounge on my first day back...



Saturday, 13 September 2014

Beginnings

The best thing about beginnings is that you don't know that's what it is. It slips by unheralded. It's just a new person you've met, a new activity you've tried or something for the first time, so new that you don't even know it's a habit yet.

It also means that at any point in time, a path can change. Like at the end of Casablanca, where the enemies become friends, "This could be the start of a beautiful friendship", it is the "This could be..." moment. Remember that any moment can be transformed into a "This could be..." moment, if you choose to make it.

The bad doesn't have to stay bad, the difficult can change, and life can get better. You don't have to change everything, just make one choice in a moment. Only time will prove it a new beginning.

“The chief beauty about time
is that you cannot waste it in advance.
The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you,
as perfect, as unspoiled,
as if you had never wasted or misapplied
a single moment in all your life.
You can turn over a new leaf every hour
if you choose.”
Arnold Bennett

Linking up with the new linky at Denyse Whelan Blogs for her Life This Week link up on #Beginnings I like this post because it reminds me that any new venture can start right this second, the moment I decide to start it. I don't need to put it off until I 'have enough money, have the kids back in school, have blah blah (insert whatever procrastinating excuse I'm using not to start).
As Dr Seuss would say "Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory". So go and make today special!


Monday, 8 September 2014

Head case

Actually, I was chuffed to be cased by Musings of the Misguided so as I am about to shut the blog down for a holiday, I thought I better jump in quickly with my answers...

1.How long have you been blogging and why did you start? I was in this delusional state where I thought I could earn enough money not to find an actual out of the home job...I have since given up that idea, and now just blog for pleasure - the upside being it gives me free reign to write what I like, and when I like...It's been over 2 years now, which I find hard to believe...it might even be just clocking into my third. But it still feels very new.


Nothing more Audrey Hepburn than a dress in a box


2.If your wardrobe could talk what would it say about you and tell us about your favourite or most worn item. I have a Jack Skellington hand bag, which I love. I adore my Essendon Footy jumper. Very fond of the Crazy Cat Shoes, my wedding dress is the only dress I own that came in a box, I have a collection of hand painted stockings (for which I am famous for), and I have an Alannah Hill furry cardigan that is often called my Hooker jacket (though would probably be more fitting with Alice Francis's term 'Flappies')...How do I narrow it down to one? My wardrobe would say I wear what I like and to hell with fashion trends...








3.What’s your idea of the perfect date night? Anything with just my partner - movie, dinner, concert - anything. We don't get a lot of outings without kids or company, so I really treasure the time when we have fun together alone.

4.What’s on your worth casing list? Currently Hawaii - I am pouring over photos daily of the volcanos, Big Island and Kauai. Scoot airfares are currently also being cased. And I'm hoping I can get us back to Coffs for the weekend if the price is right (Tiger Sale, $1 return fares please).

5. If you had a theme song, what would it be and why? This is hard. Currently I'm listening to Yeezus, so I'm ready for Friday. Been overloading on Alice Francis, but she is too cool to be applicable to me.  I'll go with Theophilus London's I stand alone because I like what he's saying...to anyone wanting to make change in this world and in themselves remember 'the clothes don't make the man, it's the man that makes the clothes' . He rocks quirky fashion like no other...A man after my own fashion style...




So I'm tagging:
Francesca from Francesca Writes Here
Alex from Dad Rites
Mumabulous
Alicia from One Mother Hen
Ann from Help! I'm Stuck




Mystery Case

Linking up With Some Grace for FYBF

Nothing goes without saying...

I was at a funeral, and in the eulogy, my friend listed some of her mother's wisdom, and one of the pearls was "Nothing goes without saying".

If struck a chord so deep and true, I wanted to share it with you.

Don't wait for an occasion to tell your partner you love them. Tell them tonight when you walk in the door. Thank them for what they give you, name it specifically (and I don't mean material things).

If you are mad at the kids, or they're being punished, remind them that you still love them, even at this split second in time.

If someone is in pain, let them know they can count on you. Send them a txt or give them a call, just to remind them of the offer.

And so the list goes on. We think people know what they mean to us, but why would they?

Make it in your life, nothing goes without saying.

Linking up with Things I know

Monday, 1 September 2014

“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn” Orson Welles

You will soon see why I'm not a fashion blogger, if only for my photographic abilities...

I don't know how you do those boards you you'll just have to look piece by piece and put it together yourself!

I shop mainly by an online company, who I'm not going to name because I'm currently furious with them for sending me a hat in a plastic bag so it arrived looking like this:











Instead of just refunding me the money based on the photos like they have in the past, I've had to post it back with great hassle on my part, and I'm still waiting for the money. So no plugs for them - and given your stats, that's a big loss for them.

Anyway, I got myself this fabulous number for $45 (I got 2 other things so postage was $3.50 if you divide it up). Trollied Dolly Dress with a super cute cutout detail.



I got these little earrings from Bundanoon Markets for $10.









The stockings came from Alannah Hill bargain bin, while trawling around on my random acts of kindness mission - down to $10. They have sexy 'pretend' suspenders, a look I'm a little obsessed with at the moment, which is weird given I'm 107 and don't really pull off sexy...



 
Lastly, the I LOVE Billy shoes I got online about a million years ago, so from memory they were $25 (postage was divided up with another pair of shoes but I sold them on ebay and charged the buyer the postage I paid in the shoe cost.)
 
 

Under $100 including postage....happy, happy!

Linking up with  #OpenSlather

At some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not.

The title comes from Water for Elephants, the book by Sara Gruen, the full quote being "With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not."

We were watching Homeland, and there are a few spoilers ahead so be warned if you haven't watched the second season (and we are waiting on the DVD of Season 3 so no spoilers for us please!!). We get to the bit where the wife discovers he's converted and is praying in the garage. She gets extremely angry and upset, and clearly feeling betrayed that the daughter knew and she didn't. At which point, my husband says 'She's more upset about this than the affair'. He was right, she was. It took me a few moments pondering but I could see why. She says something along the lines of 'You lied to me every time you came in here'.

His keeping this secret while he thought he wasn't lying to her, it meant that he was basically someone she didn't know at all. It meant everything in the relationship they had, that she thought she knew, evaporated because either it was false, or she felt doubt about whether it was true at all. Everything became tainted. Not to mention that the daughter was clearly more trusted and a more important person to him. He may not have intended that, but basically, his actions meant the wife, and her feelings, mattered the least to him in the equation. (Though I still would have been more angry about the affair - but that's another post).

I wanted to explore this further, so a bit of googling came up with plenty of articles. There were ones of the obvious lying about friendships with women (and affairs) but there were plenty about lying about how you spend money, how much money you have and where you spend your time (non-sexual). All these things, that seem small, were equally damaging to the relationship because they brought doubt into the mind of the other person.

This article by Sharon Queano, was particularly good and summed up the issue exactly "Did your little white lie do any damage to the integral structure of your marriage?...most definitely if she discovers the truth. Little white lies in a marriage can blur the lines between respect, honesty, and valuing each other’s opinion’s, thoughts, and feelings.... lying can easily destroy the fragile balance of trust the two of you have. Lying can cause doubt, serious doubt, which can erode the structure of the relationship. If it gets bad enough, in fact, your relationship becomes little more than a guessing game, even during those very special heart to heart talks" Taking out the religious aspect of the scenario in Homeland (though that is definitely part of it), I think this is exactly why their whole marriage crumbles shortly after that.

Homeland is an extreme case, as he's keeping many, many secrets, but it is a great case study for a couple not sharing their lives and growing further and further apart. If  someone in a couple is deliberately withholding information "an unhealthy distance occurs within the relationship" as pointed out by Shannon Philpott in her article on the subject. You feel shut out, and you can feel the distance, and ultimately, there is that feeling that you don't actually know this person at all. It doesn't have to be the big one, an affair, it can be the examples above or struggling with PND or depression or choosing to spend time with friends instead of being where you said you were or anything at all really.

If your need to do something that you think your spouse will disapprove of, don't keep it a secret. Discuss it. It is better to have the argument before hand than argue later and bring betrayal into the already difficult situation. I'm not saying you have to do everything to please your partner, and not do things they don't approve of. I'm saying you need to let them know you're doing it in advance, and why.

As we often tell the kids, if it needs to be kept secret, it's probably not good for you - think drugs, alcohol, abuse and so on. In this case, if it needs to be kept secret, it's probably not good for the relationship.



Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist. I am not an expert in anything. If I was on Dr Phil, I'd be a guest not an expert dishing out advice (like you needed me to tell you that! Ha!). So this is just my opinion and something I was interested in. I was taken with the point my husband made about a tv show, and I thought I could write an article and sell it to a weekend mag. I, of course, lost momentum and dumped the idea here instead. If you are having any troubles along these lines, see a counsellor or professional.