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Monday, 2 September 2013

The extroverted introvert.

Linking this old post for #IMustConfess.  As an update, we had a 'meet the other parents' cocktail party and my friend pulled out last minute. She said she just wasn't up for it, and then added "but you're really great at that sort of thing". I found this so odd, as I'm really terrible at that sort of thing, and it fills me with self conscious fears of inadequacy, but clearly, I'm becoming so much better at hiding it. So I am at times, an extroverted introvert.

I am, as you've all heard, socially inept, painfully shy, and an undisputed introvert. My partner, on the other hand, is not. He's very confident and at ease socially, anywhere. So what follows came as a big surprise to me, and I'm still puzzling to make some sense of it.

On Saturday night, we headed to the Zombie Prom - a prom night from 1986 where you dress as zombies. With Halloween being my favourite time of year, I already had the outfit of a decaying prom queen, so it was no effort for me.

Due to my covering of wholemeal flour paste (for decaying, flaky skin), I said we would have to walk up the road to the venue, rather than get a taxi. My partner said "I can't walk up King St dressed like this". My response, "It's King St, no one will even look twice". Nope, no go - we had to wait until I was dry and get a taxi.

For those that don't know Sydney, King St is in the very relaxed suburb of Newtown, and pretty much anything goes and no one cares. I have sat in the takeaway in PJ's and no one gave me a second glance.

My question, to myself, but happy for any feedback, is why do I twist myself in anxiety at the prospect of blogger drinks or most social occasions, but can merrily stroll up the street looking like a freak without any sort of issue?

I guess it's to do with no one knowing me, where as meeting people I have to be 'me' and that's putting myself up for judgement (my own judgment, as most people don't think too much about other people they've just met).

Or is my torshlusspanik list beginning to change me? I wouldn't have thought so, but maybe it is. Which is the Whistle a happy tune scenario in the King and I*. Does that really work? Maybe it does....

There is no resolution to this post, just a pondering which I will return to at a later date.
As for the Zombie Prom? For those that missed it, mark the date for next year and sign up to the Vanguard newsletter. It's hilarious. It's like an old school dance (with equally bad music). Ironically, because of the zombie theme, no one gave us a second glace being the oldest people in the place (seriously), and we joined up with some young 20 somethings at the next table (who somehow knew all the words to songs they weren't even alive for, first time round).


*If you are a young person that has not seen the King and I, it's a great film so you should watch it, but the short version of Whistle a Happy Tune is held in the lyrics:
"Make believe you're brave
And the trick will take you far.
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are"

37 comments:

  1. I'm disappointed there aren't any photos. Would have loved to have seen you as a zombie. It is an interesting pondering indeed. It must be, as you say, that nobody knows you when you're walking along as a zombie ... The other thing I find interesting is that you're an introvert and you've married and extrovert. I'm an introvert and my closest friends are extroverts. Do we gravitate towards the more outgoing ?

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    1. I think it's the yingyang thing. The extroverts need us introverts, otherwise there'd be too many people vying for the spotlight. We need the extroverts otherwise we might disappear....

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    1. I'll look you up, Lydia. I'm just a newbie on twitter :)

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  3. Lol, that sounds like a lot of fun! Imagine the taxi driver - do I picked someone covered in flour?

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    1. Taxi driver on the way home didn't even question it....

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  4. These things always confuse me too. My husband picks the oddest times to be self conscious. He'd happily walk up the street naked, but in a costume like that, probably not!
    I personally am still trying to work out when I went from an extrovert to an introvert. Possibly, I am still extroverted once comfortable, but the anxieties kick in?
    Either way, you and I are one and the same and I was very thankful to meet you at a bloggers brunch because it made the event so much easier :)

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    1. It's funny that a number of bloggers seem to struggle in a similar way, and yet you can't put yourself out there in a more public way...(I'm still trying to process the irony of that!)

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  5. I know that there is no way that A or I would walk down the street like that - in fact, if we have to dress up for something we say ""Thanks but no thanks" - we don't do dress up at all ! Although I am with you - maybe I would walk down the street if nobody I knew was there - but then again, maybe not !!!
    Going to find the photo on twitter !!
    Have the best day !
    Me

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    1. Yes, the dress up is not everyones thing. I like to dress up...I just don't like to be me, apparently ;)

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  6. Love it! It's like that saying, "Fake it, till you make it!"
    See, I think I'm like your partner...I'm an extrovert to the extreme but it takes me a little while to warm up to walking down a busy street (albeit King St) in Zombie costume.

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    1. Yes, Fake it til you make it - didn't believe that but maybe there is some truth...by the way, I'd do zombie walk over surfing in public...(one requires not caring and one requires skill and coordination!!;)

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  7. In our home it's probably the opposite. I'd balk over something like that, but not about other random things.
    I recently read an article on what actually makes a person an introvert, and was not surprised to find I am one. I'm pretty certain Boatman, like your partner, is the opposite :)

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    1. It does seem to be a pattern - the two opposites getting together. Funnily, I would have picked you as an extrovert (I remember that butt wiggling video) ;)

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  8. Ha ha a Zombie Prom and you went all out with flakey skin and all - PHOTO PHOTO! I'm an extrovert but sometimes I wonder if it's intimidating for some, I hope not, I never mean offence by it! x

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    1. No, no - introverts tend to love extroverts (and vice versa). Neither is better or worse than the other...so never think twice about it. Charming photo on twitter...

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  9. I'm with Em, we need a photo of the Zombie Prom Queen - sounds like great fun. I wouldn't have even been able to get my hubby to dress up let alone walk down the street.

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    1. One husband did refuse to come & we couldn't give his ticket away...so I get it's not for everyone...

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  10. I'm the extrovert to hubby's introvert but in our house I'm the one going to the servo in my PJs while hubby gets dressed just to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night (13 years and I STILL don't know who he thinks he's going to run into in our hallway at 3am).
    Popping in via #teamIBOT :)

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  11. My partner and I are both introverts, but we both have our places that we shine.

    The zombie party sounds like a ton of fun!

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  12. Oh yes I get this totally! I would be right there you on both counts. Walking down the street cool as a Zombie Prom Queen and hiding in the corner at the blogger drinks. We women a curious beasts sometimes aren't we?

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  13. Cool Lydia - i reckon u would have blended right into the scenery in good ol king street - i used to love the bank hotel ... and the rest in my hay day. sounds like u had a ball. kimx

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  14. Cool Lydia - i reckon u would have blended right into the scenery in good ol king street - i used to love the bank hotel ... and the rest in my hay day. sounds like u had a ball. kimx

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  15. oh how much fun would that Prom be!!! LOVE to have gone!! I havent dressed up in costume since pre-children.. think its about time to get out there and do it again :)

    Blogs and PR visiting

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  16. I know you've probably heard this before, but you don't come across as 'awkward' in person at all :) Maybe we all just need to channel zombie confidence when we're feeling shy.

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  17. You know the answer to this, don't you? Rock up to the blogger meet up as a zombie!

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  18. Well you obviously need to dress up as a zombie whenever you have a social occasion

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  19. I would have loved to see photos as well! I would be just as nervous turning up to a blogger event, it's a multitude of piers meeting me in raw reality, and uncomfortable :)

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  20. I'm somewhat similar. I have happily dressed up as Morticia and a as a hooker for fancy dress parties and then still been the quietest person in the room. Where's the photo?! Thanks for linking up. xo

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  21. I would have strolled up the street in fancy dress. I love fancy dress. Ha ha Lani is right rock up as a zombie to blogger events

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  22. Yeah, dressing up and walking down the street is one thing and making small talk with strangers is another. I totally get it. Still would like to see that photo!

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  23. I get what you mean!! I'd be the same going to a blogger or social catch up for the first time! I'd have so much stress and anxiety about going but know, 15 minutes into it I'd be ok (providing someone started talking to me first!)

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  24. Love King St Newtown and I'm like you, I don't think anyone would have battered an eye lid.

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  25. I guess it is the difference between knowing that people don't know you and more than likely will never see you again and meeting people that matter. I think I am a bit like you in this respect.

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  26. Ah yes, but you were in disguise ... that always makes it easier. Plus you would probably never meet those people again ...

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  27. I love dressing up so wouldn't have had an issue with walking down the street either. Talking one on one though makes me feel sick to the stomach at the thought.

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  28. It's amazing the courage you will find when you take on a role or disguise - because it's no longer you putting yourself out there - it's someone else. I would have totally walked the streets with you Lydia!

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