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Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Exceedingly Handsome Guy - pondering on superficial beauty

In the Listmania of Home Life Simplified, we listed our tween/teen crushes and our current day ones...and someone put forward Satoshi Tsumabuki, who I had to google. One of his movie parts was titled "Exceedingly Handsome Guy". Can you even fathom this?

Agent "Oh, there's a part for you in Tokyo Drift. It's Exceedingly Handsome Guy"
Actor: "oh, perfect."
a little later...
Actor "Hi, I'm auditioning for Exceedingly Handsome Guy. What do you think?"

I can not comprehend the self-assuredness this would involve. I can't imagine looking in the mirror and being so happy with what I saw (and knowing that everyone else would love it too).

So are these people born this way? Or does having an Exceedingly Handsome exterior create it? Like the 'bubble' that Liz talks of in 30 Rock (or that Seinfeld touched on in an episode). Or does the abundance of confidence have an infectious quality, and like Jedi Knights, if they tell us we think they're good looking, we agree?

I'm not talking vanity, just actually being so good looking and knowing it, like it's a fact as if you were tall. If you were 6'6, you'd know where to stand in the class photo, as a matter of common sense. Do the truly beautiful of this world know it as a fact and the world is in general consensus?

Of course, everybody can make themselves look their best, and everyone has moments of beauty. Usually that comes with youth, but not always. Some people rock their looks as they age. I love the juxtaposition of the young awkward teen George Clooney and the current heartthrob Clooney (on the meme with the words: Never give up. Someday it will all fall into place!") and for those with teens at that hideously self-conscious age, I'd blow it up and plaster it to the wall (but the teen probably thinks the after shot is equally unattractive so maybe there's no point)

I once went on holidays and became friends with a Japanese woman. There was a Japanese staff member who was incredibly good looking and every Aussie female would go giggly, falling all over themselves to flirt with him, however he didn't get the same reaction from the Japanese. And he knew it. He played up to the attention of the Aussies and French, but was merely civil to the Japanese. I asked my new friend if he was good looking. She said "No, only so-so". Apparently the perplexing behaviour of the women had been a great topic of conversation at the Japanese tables most nights.

Imagine what it must be like to be an Exceedingly Handsome Man all your life and then go somewhere where your looks are not recognised? (I guess for the majority that place may be middle age). Or the wake up when you go to somewhere where people are overwhelmed by your good looks to the point of stupidity, when you've grown up and accepted you're not very attractive to look at to the majority of your peers?

Humans are very strange beasts, and a lot of our concerns are in our own heads, and in those awkward teen years, they're often based on very superficial concepts. Is there a way to detour that? Can we create Exceedingly Handsome Guys & Gals? Do the Exceedingly Handsome people still flay themselves with self doubt and low self esteem?

I have just been informed that my friend's very beautiful, tall, slendor, leggy blonde daughter has developed an eating and self harming disorder. She's been traditionally good looking all along - I understand this disorder is not really related to appearance, but even so, she must not see herself as she actually is. It terrifies me.

I have no answers.  It is only skin deep, but we put so much thought and emotion into it from a very early age. Then we spend the rest of our lives telling those we love not to worry about it. And we do love them more than life itself, and we wish they could see their beauty through our eyes.


Unfortunately, I think you have to be a certain age and level of world weary before you understand.


Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.

CONFUCIUS




26 comments:

  1. I wrote about my own battles with my appearance earlier this week - I think that confidence in your self is something that comes later (it did for me) but teens are very vulnerable to the views of others... which is so sad really.

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    1. I will go back and take a look - I missed it. I think the worst thing is most teens are so hard on themselves, and they don't realise how wonderful they are. It's such a waste of usually the best they'll ever look...

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    2. That's so funny - you posted yours the day I wrote this - we have some collective thinking going on (tho mine was prompted by something I read on Listmania...I've also submitted something that was rejected because they put up a post with the same title THAT day...clearly I'm slightly psychic or just not very original...

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  2. Wouldn't it be great if all Exceedingly Handsome (or Incredibly Good-Looking, as in the movie Zoolander) people could go to countries where their beauty wasn't recognised, and 'ugly' people could go to countries where they were perceived as good-looking - if only for visits - then hopefully more of us would realise the importance of inner beauty? But I hear it's like that in fashion-show land anyway - many outwardly beautiful people - and no-one talks to another in the audience if they can't prove their 'someone' or they don't pull off their 'look' - ha. What misery!

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  3. I have met 2 models who were both very lovely and not what I expected (my bitchy self wanted them to be stupid and mean). One did have to stay hidden out of the sun in Bali, in long sleeves and a scarf...

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  4. oh the complexity
    magazines, hollywood and fashion have much to answer for too
    yes, it is only skin deep - but making the detachment is hard and not so easy, even with age
    i do love that george clooney pic- scrumptious!

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  5. Great post! Cultural differences in ideas of beauty are fascinating! 'Exceedingly handsome guy' - love it!!!

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    1. I just had to google Satoshi as well… (must be getting old) :-)

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    2. So did I! Ideas of beauty are oh so personal.

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  6. I guess in the end - beauty is in the eye of the beholder and self confidence comes from within, not what we look like.
    Becc @ Take Charge Now

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    1. Nailed it, but why does it take us so long to undterstand that?

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  7. That Confucius quote is perfect! But I guess we are just always harsher on ourselves than what we need to be. It is sad, isn't it?

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    1. It is indeed - we all seem to have distorted vision...

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  8. This is a tough one, because if the person does have the attitude, it's only because of the fawning legions that they cultivate it.

    People would give my daughter things as a baby or toddler in the pram, because she was cute. She was your typical big, blue-eyed, blonde image of a cherub and people liked that and smiled a lot. I wondered what she was learning from this before she could even talk.
    PS The Clooney image is GOLD.

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    1. I agree with the Clooney pic (not my creation, obviously) and will be interesting with your daughter. My middle son was blond and cute as, and would be swamped by Asian tourists taking photos, where ever we went. Then when his younger sister was a baby, we went to HK and he was totally ignored while she was mobbed everywhere we went. He started getting very irritated, and pushing them away and covering the pram saying loudly "She doesn't like that!" but I think it was jealousy and he was annoyed he was being ignored...

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  9. Indeed, humans are very strange beasts. That's really so sad about your friend's daughter, and I totally understand it too. It's really hard to see yourself for real at that age. Well, it's still hard now, but I guess you have less time for it to be a real focus. I think funnily enough some really ridiculously good-looking people might actually be quite lonely - the opposite of what you'd expect. Many live charmed lives, sure, but my dad once told me about this stunning girl he finally had the guts to ask out in his 20s, assuming she'd be knocking back offers non-stop, and in fact she was SO grateful to be asked out! Men assumed she wouldn't be interested, and women assumed she was a bitch or were jealous, so didn't want to hang out with her - so she was actually quite isolated by her beauty. My dad, understandably, was stoked!

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  10. PS. I think I may actually be a robot. I am having a lot of trouble proving I'm not one with the comment verification-tool. Either that or it's time to upgrade the glasses!!! ;)

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  11. I like your dad's story - we project so much. And it is sad about this girl, not just because it's truly awful regardless, but because she's really beautiful (by any standards) and in youth, this is probably the best she will ever look, and she'll never get to enjoy that.

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  12. Also robots are welcome, I just don't know how to turn that thing off. I don't discriminate on grounds of Artificial Intelligence...

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  13. As an Exceedingly Average Guy I am now in the habit of having a yearly portrait taken and hoping that, at some point, the "George Clooney Effect" (it's a "thing" now) will kick in. :)
    I think self confidence is something we grow into. As teenagers we are incredibly insecure, but as we grow, and find our place in the world, we become more comfortable with who we are. How this relates to appearance, I am not sure as I am short and hairy. Perhaps I should move to Middle Earth and see how I do with the Dwarven ladies...

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  14. There are so many factors that go into our self-esteem. And so often we dwell on the couple of negatives rather than the multitude of positives.

    I guess our appearance is what can be seen so it takes on more importance than it really has. I guess the interesting twist to that is building online friendships where you don't initially judge people on how they look but on what they have said.

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  15. That reminds me of a very long time ago when I was young and the Vietnamese cleaner who used to come into the library office where I was temping had a massive crush on me. He'd leave notes on my desk telling me I was beautiful - I was hardly a beauty, I was a ranga with a bad perm and glasses, but to him that must have been something unusual. Not quite sure what the attraction was and I was embarrassed, particularly as I didn't return his devotion.

    Very sad about your friends daughter. Hope she's travelling a bit better these days. Personally can't believe the amount of years I wasted thinking I was 'fat' when I was younger. Self image is certainly a very strange thing. xo

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  16. Wow, I'd never seen a pic of the young George Clooney before. Definitely improving with age! I think I'm okay looking. No supermodel, but I can't complain. I think my daughter Miss 16 is stunning (I could be biased though!) but I'm not sure that she thinks that ... truly, she is gorgeous, how can she NOT know?!

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  17. I find it fascinating that we have a saying that "Beauty is only skin deep" and yet all the skin cells you can see on a person are actually dead. Our perception of beauty is based on the only thing not alive! I wonder what we would think of as beautiful if we removed all the media influences? If the "In" girl or boy didn't cloud our judgement.
    Great thought provoking post

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  18. I have grown in confidence as I've aged, in all aspects of my life, not just in looks. It's one of those ironies of life, isn't it? It only we had that confidence when we were young and impressionable...

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  19. I think how we perceive ourselves is both about how others see us and how we see ourselves. A child who is told their whole life that they are ugly, is going to believe it, despite what they actually look like.

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